Coming clean

I’m in denial. I repeat the same pattern over and over and it wasn’t funny the first time and it’s definitely not funny now.

I’m in denial. I repeat the same pattern over and over and it wasn’t funny the first time and it’s definitely not funny now. See this is what I do. I scrimp and I save and I get by on lentils and quiet evenings at home; I fade out of the going-out-for-drinks-crowd and I tell myself that it’s healthy and fun to live on a tiny budget.

Then I snap and consequently go bananas. I don’t indulge in what would be characterized as a shopping spree by, say, someone with a salary and a penny saved for a rainy day, but still I hit the town. This week I hit that point and suddenly I found myself outside of Zara’s with a new jacket. Two days later I find myself going out with friends from work, enjoying a delicious aperetivo (buffet food with a drink), going to a concert and subsequently sharing a cab home. I think I spent what pitiful funds I managed to save while being in my spartan pre-denial phase. Damn!

But it was fun. The concert (Jamie Lidell, a British artist who plays really cool soul funky music) was good but the atmosphere was even better. I laughed myself silly at the stupid jokes told by my Swedish colleagues and the Great Dane (the new intern), shouted ‘get a room!’ with everyone else at the amorous and lip-locked couple in front, sang along and danced to the music.

So what is more important? The immediate gratification that comes from buying new clothes, the buzz that comes from shared beers and jokes with colleagues who become your friends – or abiding the feasible-but-strict budget that sees you through to tomorrow??

I don’t want to know, and don’t want to think about it. As I said, I’m in denial. Right now I am carefully reading the Guardian’s list of 1000 sci-fi and fantasy books everyone must read. It’s just as well I can’t buy stuff online at work, otherwise I would’ve bought 498 of the books by now. Nothing complements denial like a sci-fi classic as a gift to oneself!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/jan/22/1000-novels-fiction-fantasy-introduction

Enjoy, and have a good weekend!