Gorgeous lawyers..

Just returned from a meeting with a guy from HR, with only Swedish interns. It was slightly depressing since I was once again reminded that there are so many gorgeous 25-year old lawyers who lead their life in the most CV-maximising way; I tend to think that people in general are like me and do things because the want to, just for the fun or heck of it.

Aarrgh I don't have a career goal! But what I do have is an invitation to do backing vocals for my supervisor's band... Mwahaha, how do you like them apples, oh smart beauty queens?!

Sorry. I know I shouldn't compete with other people since that's an exercise in futility. There will always be someone who is better looking, smarter, funnier or goal-oriented than me; the point is not to be disheartened by that fact. I'm totally OK even though I'm soon 27 and still don't have any idea want I want to do.

Cheers

Spooky

The wind outside the office building howls and moans and gusts of rain hit unsuspecting UN employees on their way to work. Today a huge public transport strike was supposed to take place but they (who they are)decided to call it off last minute. Yes!

On a weirder note: yesterday evening (which was a very pleasant one, with my friends and I having ice cream and wine in bed while reading glossy magazines and discussing life) my steel shutters broke down with a loud crash-like groan. They cover the entrance doors to the balcony from my room and when they don't work I can't see daylight or access the balcony from my room! And of course the land lord is in the UK.. Maybe I could fix them myself (famous last words)?

These last couple of days I have been convinced that the 6 Dec was this Saturday, i.e. that my new flat mate was moving in tomorrow. It dawned on me yesterday that it's next week - so I have one whole week of enacting Tom Cruise's scene from Risky Business around the flat!

Ciao ragazzi, have a good weekend

So much good stuff happening..

Such as:
More things to do at work
I got another grant - 800 euro
I have friends over
..Who made reaally delicious food for me
It hasn't rained in a couple of hours
I've got a duvet

New flatmate!

New flatmate is moving in on Saturday - L from the Philippines, also with the WFP.

Tonight I'm have company coming over, C and S are visiting Rome (and therefore me) for three days!

So happy it's Friday!

Yes you know it's true - today is Friday! Next week my supervisor will be back from his trip and I'll badger him until he gives me something to do. Wednesday I attended a video conference with a bunch of interns, talking to a Joint Inspection Unit in Geneva (I just like to write Joint Inspection Unit, it's sounds so important) about life as a WFP intern. It eased my mind to hear what the others had to say about their internships - some were pleased with their situation while others were quite critical, like me. Anyway, I'm not alone begrudging my current situation.

This weekend might include jazz, bikes, poker, beer. I'm not sure in what order though.

Oh did I tell you my flatmate C is moving out? Indeed she is and if I don't find someone new I'll be up the creek. An Italian girl was supposed to come a look at the place at the beginning of the week but she was a no show. Everyone who heard this said "well what do you expect, she's Italian.." I've made an appointment tomorrow with another Italian girl, we'll see if she shows up.

Have a good weekend,
Ciao

I will survive

Not as angry today, still bored though. But I'm going to prevail dammit!

Angry rant

I'm just going to to be angry for a while now: I'm seriously fucking tired of having nothing to do. For two weeks now it's been nada, niente, ingenting, nothing to do at work and it's driving me around the bend. It makes me feel useless and restless, a huge waste of my money and my time. I'm not learning anything, not doing anything! So yesterday when I met a colleague and he complained about his unit being understaffed and overworked I naturally saw a solution to everyone's problem. I sent a polite and well-written email to my out-of-town boss and asked him if I could help the other unit out. A bit later he responded saying basically no. I'm not stupid enough to miss that this is 96% office politics; sanctioned sheer idiocy. So here I am, in front of my computer ten hours a day, watching the hands of the clock drag themselves around while some of my workmates are working hard. I'm so fucking disappointed I can't even begin to tell you about it.

I just talked to my best friend on the phone and now I'm even angrier. Her take on it was that it was natural for me to be upset - I did pack my stuff and moved across Europe to be put to work and to learn new things.. And for what?
Boy I really have to try to cheer myself up, it's not gonna work otherwise.

A dearth

Sorry I haven't been blogging for a while now. Things have been excruciatingly slow at work and the boredom saps me of the creative juice desperately needed for blogging. But now I finally found something worth writing about - the romantic film of the ages: The Notebook. I saw it yesterday, but I remember being told about it long before by an enthusiastic friend, L. It was so good, so lovely! Ah man it made me radiate happiness och quasi-cheesy joy, and my flatmate and I almost burst into spontaneous song afterwards. It was that good.

So what else is there to tell you all about? The cold and the rain has settled like a gray heavy blanket over the city. It's colder indoors than outside, and the radiators haven't been turned on yet. The reason we all go to work now despite the apparent lack of things to do is so that we can warm ourselves with coffee. Exaggerated but true!

Not doing anything productive today

.. No one here is (sorry, starving children!) so we're all emailing jokes to each other. My favourite so far: "Yo momma's so dumb she thinks a quarterback is a refund". 

a book that makes a difference

I have just been downstairs for my usual 9.15 coffee with workmates (today it was celebratory coffee). The coffee was good, the spirits high. Sitting next to me at the table was a British guy, H, a very educated, well-spoken, sophisticated young man. He's the BBC, the monarchy, the pompousness and effortless self-confidence of the UK, all rolled up into one person. And he starts telling me (in front of people I consider my friends) that my English is quite hard to understand. Apparently my accent is 30% British interspersed with Swedish intonation, all spoken very fast. He's probably correct about me speaking too fast sometimes, and I do have an English accent while being inescapably Swedish. But it was the way he said it. I felt a horrible blush set up camp on my face. He's done this to me before, exclaiming that my English was old-fashioned and quirky (I was reading Lady Chatterley's lover at the time) - and always in front of people. Which of course leaves me feeling self-conscious and awkward. But.

When I was in Sweden for the weekend my good friend E thrust a book in my hands, demanding that I should take it back home and read it. And so I did. The book is basically about self-esteem and self-confidence, and the difference in between those two. I realise that in a lot of situations I have a solid (not so say grand) sense of self-confidence, but at the same time my self-esteem hangs in the balance, all too dependent on what people think of me. The scenario today with H is usually one of those where I laugh it off in front off people and then feel insecure about it afterwards, resenting the person who said the offensive comment in question. But no today. I'm gonna go aalll self-help book on H's ass (and everybody else's ass), turn the other cheek and not feel slighted. Who cares about my English, spoken or written? Who needs to compete for the title of smartest person in WFP? Not me! Starting from now I'm going to work on boosting my self-esteem. So there, H.

Back in Rome

Yesterday saw yet another fantastic thunderstorm (tempesta as the Italians call it) and today everything appears to be fresh and new, after being washed by torrents of rain. And Obama won! The world feels slightly better today, no?